Lately I’ve been much of a mehness, and I realise this whole grieving business takes its own sweet time. But there are moments and hours and even days when things feel pretty good again, and I know these times, in time, become the predominant thing before long but until that happens a memory or a song or a something can knock you for six. Yesterday and this Monday just passed I felt knocked for six, so I whatsapped my mom and said let’s have lunch at the Perseverance Tavern. The Perseverance Tavern is on Buitenkant Street and I think I read somewhere that it’s the oldest pub in South Africa, dating back to 1836 if the date on the facade is to be believed. And when you sit outside on a nice day the sun shines through the pretty, bright leaves of an ancient vine and the more Black Jack draughts you put away the more you think of the throngs of people who, over the past nearly 200 years, must have ordered a beer, like me, to dull the ache of life’s sorrows. And I cheered up somewhat, knowing I was not alone. Because what is life if not a long series of perseverances with different details. And being slightly tipsy is a very excellent way to approach this business of Monday.
But I also though of other things. On the previous Saturday I’d attended the 50th birthday lunch of a writer friend which took place under an ancient pomegranate tree in the garden of a lovely old house in Simonstown. After we’d eaten and drunk and sung and been jolly, the talk took a slightly more serious turn (as it does here in the old RSA) and somebody sitting across from me who reads my blog said, please will you write something positive about the marches? And my first thought was not a chance, are you jas because it’s all very complicated – if you’re white and say something nice about something that happened in South Africa you’re stupid and belong at Woolworths buying organic goat’s yoghurt. So, for good reason, I was hesitant to put my thoughts to paper. But then, as the afternoon wore on and I thought more about what she’d said I have to admit that something about the sneering that happened re that event and the accusations of racism and the determination of some individuals to put a negative spin on a pretty amazing and positive moment in our history made me a little more defiant than usual and even inclined to defend the white people which is something I don’t often do. Because whether it had any political impact or not, that march made a huge difference to the morale of this country.
Nobody can deny that we’ve been so much of fucked over. All of us, not just the black people (if you don’t believe me, go see the movie Johnny is Nie Dood Nie). We lived in a dictatorship where we were forced to fight for a cause we didn’t believe in and if you didn’t play nicely, you went to jail, thank you, koebaai. Now we have Zuma’s ANC making megaai and you can’t say he’s kak because then you hate black people and you can’t say he’s kiff because he so very isn’t. So someone like me who likes to say stuff finds themselves in a bit of a bind. But what I will be voor op die wa enough to say is this: that I refuse to be cynical about what that march signified. And I will not tolerate people telling me I’m crap because I chose to take to the streets with my flag and my placard and yes, Marikana and yes, Fees Must Fall. The black people are right, we should have marched then, we were slow on the uptake. It’s all that goat’s yoghurt. But I fail to understand how I’m more kak for marching than for going to Tasha’s for brunch.
And yes, we totally marched like white people because we are white people. Sorry if we didn’t march ‘right,’ but I can tell you that we marched with humility and love and tentative hope in our broken hearts. We marched holding hands with people we’d never seen before, with strangers on our shoulders, shared bottles of water, sang our little voices hoarse. There are not many moments in life we get to feel relevant. That day, my heart soared when I saw how many people had shown up. Thousands. Thousands of hearts and voices joined by a common purpose. And it happened at a moment when we really, really needed to be reminded of who we are. Not newspaper headlines, not statistics, not barbarians and colonialists and murderers. Just human beings wanting the best for our country and for each other.
A young black woman came over to me and asked if we could be in a picture holding hands. My Jewish friend ending a conversation with some Muslim ladies walking by with ‘Zuma will fall, inshallah!’ Some guys danced by shouting ‘Amandla!’ and the mixed crowd answered with ‘Awethu!’ And I know, know, know that for the most part white people live the life of Riley and black people struggle on, I’m not denying or excusing that for a second and I’ve talked about it lots in other blogs. What I want to call attention to here is that when you take the politics away and put South Africans side by side in a different kind of context it’s not racism you see among us. All day long I encounter white and black and brown people living, working, playing, interacting. We don’t have a problem with each other. I’m not sure we ever did. That’s why they invented apartheid in the first place. Our government fucked it up for us and they’re fucking it up still.
The thing is, you can choose to see hypocrisy in just about every aspect of human behaviour. We’re complicated creatures and we’re fundamentally self-centred. When stuff doesn’t feel relevant to us we give it a skip. But its an oversimplification and, frankly, ignorant to say that we don’t care about the people we live amongst. If we could wave a magic wand and eradicate the poverty and the suffering and the deep injustices of our society we’d do it in a heartbeat. I think we don’t have a clue how to go about this. But what we can do is show up in support and solidarity to the people who really get klapped when our economy goes tits up. Not us so much; the middle classes have the buffer of their relative wealth. It’s the poor people, always, who get shafted.
I’m no political analyst and I can’t begin to predict where all of this will end. But what I know for sure is that there are huge amounts of love, solidarity and goodwill among us, even given the terrible, brutal history we share. This aspect of our country is not covered by the media or mentioned by our politicians because it’s not what they want us to believe. But we need to know better and keep fighting the good fight and showing up wherever we can, whether it’s outside parliament or paying to put someone’s child through school. Which happens more than is talked about, by the way. Deep down I think we know the truth of who we are and we need to hang onto that, not be distracted by the nonsense we’re fed about each other. And when it all gets too much take ourselves to the Perseverance Tavern – or somewhere like it – and be reminded that pain is perennial and life goes on and you’re not the first person, by a long margin, to cry into your beer. Amandla awethu. We’ve survived worse and we will prevail.
18 thoughts on “Fine, I’ll Write About the Damn Marches”
Susan, I would so like to have a drink with you. Johan.
I have left South Africa, albeit reluctantly, cos the aggression and negativity got too much for us. Not being there for the marches felt like I had missed my chance to do my little bit to help bring about the required changes. Viva South Africa viva! Vasbyt.
Me too Di …It was the first time in almost 20 years of being away that I wanted to rush home!
I fucking love you! I would buy anything you wrote…see, men can fall inlove with a mind nogal…
You just have a brilliant writing style…
Love your blogs Susan. You say what I feel, but so much better!
Couldn’t agree with you more!
i’m now going to memorize everything you said and i’m going to repeat whenever these vershhhtooonkin issues come up. may i, oh you of the words and the wisdom and the quirky way you put it all together?
keep going keep going keep going! oxo
Hello from Chicago ! Brilliant writing — all blogs, everytime! Keep going ……. come and visit !
Nicely put Susan Hayden! Love your posts!
100% resonate with so much of what you say, especially the bit about neither government or the press wanting us to believe in our love for one another.
I am tired of saying negative stuff about my country. I want to see the positive of which there are plenty. Marches have become the order of the day, look at the world ALL over. Politicians have stuffed up ALL over the world. We are almost without water, and in the WC, we are not SA”ns first. The population in CT has almost doubled since 1995, but dam storage only increased by 15%. The Camissa Report have been ignored along with other water-catchment reports. They refuse to take responsibility and say they cannot control the weather, but nothing to support the future shortages have been implemented, instead they continue with huge water-gobbling developments, thereby driving up property prices that it has now become cheaper to buy a flat in the UK with our measly Rand. Our youth, even young professionals and young families cannot afford to buy or upgrade, in the areas they grew up in. It’s an abnormal way of life all round, racism, water, property. So ALL government have messed and they are now an outdated ‘species’ or system. Pointing fingers is a hypocrisy if we look at it all from one side. A new way to run a country need to replace this antiquated outdated arrogance.
I absolutely adore you! Love your blogs, lead a ridiculously busy life but always skip the 400 emails prior to read your story! Keep them coming… x
Great read, thanks!
Thank you for your human perspective, always insightful and filled with so much humour!
OMG, this is the best one yet! So glad you wrote it after all, and I love your take on the apartheid dictatorship – bravo for your eloquence, your brutal honesty and for not apologising for your whiteness. Yes please!!!
ek kry sommer hoendervleis as ek dit lees
Your best post yet in my humble opinion ! I thought exactly the same thing you did when I saw the marches on the media…FINALLY we all came together as a country to speak as one….it was a momentous day and I was so terribly sad that I was not there to take part and have my voice heard.