Like most white people born and raised in South Africa in the seventies and eighties, the only interactions I have with people of colour are in supermarkets, Ubers and on Facebook Marketplace (where, lately, I find myself spending unjustifiable amounts of time browsing for items of footwear I do not need nor have the space to store. But, girls and shoes being a thing that defies logic and explanation, we must accept what we are and get on with it).
And the interactions I have in these spaces are sometimes dull and pedestrian, and sometimes, for a while at least, make me think about the world we live in and the thoughts we have about the people who populate it. For a while I’ve had a pair of thigh-high, lace-up boots bought on a whim and which have always been that level of tight that only stops hurting after a bottle of Chardonnay and several tequilas. And since I am now old as a stick and not inclined to anaesthetise myself with the same gay abandon as I did in my youth, it made sense on several levels to sell them.
So, for the first time, I placed my own ad on Facebook Marketplace and waited to see what would happen. What happened initially was nothing, and I wondered if I had marked them too high. But then Friday 5pm rolled around and while people crawled home in rush hour traffic and commuters trawled shopping sites to pass the time, my phone started pinging with women urgently needing a pair of thigh-high, lace-up hooker boots. A notion I fully understand. By Saturday morning I had several eager buyers, indicating that I sold them far too cheaply and am utterly useless as a businesswoman.
Come Sunday morning my phone was still pinging and I was copying and pasting the same message to scores of hopeful shoe lovers scattered around the city. Then a message came through from someone called Palesa. It was riddled with typos, and all my prejudices kicked in. Because she wasn’t white and living in Claremont and because she wrote ‘ur’ for ‘your’ and because I was sick of copying and pasting I almost didn’t bother to respond. But then manners got the better of me. In seven seconds I got a message back from her requesting my phone number.
Now I felt a twinge of annoyance. Not only was Palesa making me write things, but I had to also say things with my voice. I sent it anyway. Seven seconds later, my phone rang and Palesa – with such excitement her words tumbled over each other – was telling me how she was hopping in the shower that very second and then making her husband drive her from Goodwood to Green Point so she could purchase the hooker boots which were going to make life worth living. She would be there in under an hour and I was not to leave my house nor dare sell them to anyone else.
My husband, on his way out the door to the airport, warned me about letting her inside. I rolled my eyes at his paranoia, but his comment made me secretly nervous. Because, you know, you never know. At exactly the alloted time, a little green car with a number plate that said PALESA and driven by an exasperated-looking husband type of person pulled up outside my house. She bounced out the car, bounded up my steps and started praying in a loud voice that the boots would fit. It took a bit of pulling and tugging, but she got them on. ‘Thank you, Lord Jesus!’ she announced to the heavens, and embraced me in a tight hug. ‘You are wonderful! Thank you, God bless you!’ she called out to me as she clambered back into the small, green Palesamobile and, waving and blowing kisses, disappeared from sight.
I stayed where I was on the steps of my big house in a good area, all bolted up and enclosed in expensive Victorian-style railings custom made to keep people out and felt a twinge of sadness. About how small and uncontested my world is. About the way I think about people who are different. About how many kind, warm, generous humans exist that I will never have the joy of knowing. It’s weird how we live. In many ways, nothing down here has changed. Now that the apartness is socio-economic it is no less insidious.
I wish I had the courage to message Palesa and invite her around for dinner. I know our husbands would have loads in common, and I know for certain she would be somebody who would brighten up my day beyond measure. But I won’t because one doesn’t, and eventually I will forget about her and our heart-warming interaction. That evening I got a message thanking me again, and the next day a third message with a photograph of her standing in her office, smiling from here to heaven, rocking those sexy boots.
The Disco Pants Blog 
Stunning, thanks! And hey, invite them…
This makes ME want to hang out with Palesa! :)
(And I don’t even live in South Africa)
Invite Palesa round for dinner, you’ll be glad of it!
Invite us all with Palesa – love your blog and now Palesa too! :)
Just DO it……
Definitely invite her and hubby for dinner, or a Sunday lunch braai or at least afternoon tea :) (she will probably wear the boots!), then post a pic of all of you. Brighten your day instead of feeling… “how many kind, warm, generous humans exist that I will never have the joy of knowing”. You are the person that can make that connection.
Great blog, loved it! Palesa, don’t you want to run for our next President!? :-)
I second Bridget’s comment. Go on – do it!
PS Beautifully written!
What a wonderful inspiring blog! Palesa sounds like a person who enjoys and appreciates the small things in life.
Just lovely.
I love this story as I am in the process of selling some excess furniture on all of the Facebook sites and I too have had such wonderful selling interactions and sales with similar ladies – invite Palesa!
Love this SO HARD.
So great. You and Palesa can have coffee and cake somewhere – It is a thing all ladies love. This story also reminds me of something my neighbours used to say concerning shoes:” ‘n Arm man het nie size nie.”
This is exactly why I love your blog…feel good….need this on a cold Wednesday night in Johannesburg…..glad that my daughter is probably a close neighbour (Oxford Dictionary spelling, but you know that, don’t you) of yours in Greenpoint. Hope that she finds you one day in local supermarket, and she can tell you that her Mum absolutely loves your blogs. You’re my gin and tonic at six o ‘clock looking at that
beautiful mountain on a summer’s day, thinking that it couldn’t get better than this. x
Actually, it’s Tuesday night. Now you know what you’re dealing with!.
Oh, she was brave enough to text you a picture, go on and invite them for dinner! :D
I see Palesa! And I’m not sure whether I want to laugh or cry. But thank you for your generosity!
Invite Palesa. And me. It’s the right thing to do.
I so enjoy your writing. You should write a book – I would pre order it on Amazon.
I sold a lot of furniture through a site called Moving On. What a wonderful experience meeting so many fabulous people from all walks of life in Cape Town. Not once did I have reason to be nervous or suspicious (I was a few times, but completely without reason). The interactions definitely enriched my life.
Please PALEASE Palesa be mine. Be my bokkie TODAY, What a fantastic tale. A big bright sunflower on a cloudy day.
We recently sold our house and of course there was sooooo much stuff that we did not need. I put everything on FB market place and met the most wonderful, grateful people! I literally gave everything away to people who really needed it. A woman came and picked up a series of books that her son was collecting and he was missing one book in the series…..she was beside herself. What a great feeling to give away things you don’t need!
Love your blog too always entertaining!
Yes, please invite Palesa. Would love to read the follow up
Lovely story, it’s so damn difficult to rid ourselves of our unconscious biases
Yup, HOW SAD!!! The more possibilities of communication we have, the less we seem to interact in a meaningful way………………
What ?
Invite her! You may be amazed. Cape Town has such a poor reputation for including strangers. You may just encourage her to reach out to an ‘other’ herself 😊
Gail
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I go around chatting to people truing to make genuine connections..but like you said many people have prejudices so it’s harder in cape two especially southern suburbs
I was just wondering —- did you ever invite Palesa?
I didn’t :-( I still think of her sometimes and smile.